


The Tear in Your Eye

by Nebula5030



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: 1000 words, Also I find it ironic that my OTP is Merlin/Gwaine and yet my first work here is a Merlin/Freya lol, Angst, F/M, Grief/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Oh well they're cute together, Takes place during the gap between seasons 2 and 3, referenced character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 10:15:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13634250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebula5030/pseuds/Nebula5030
Summary: Merlin confides in a friend.





	The Tear in Your Eye

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Reveals of Freya](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13472391) by [FreyaDuLac](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreyaDuLac/pseuds/FreyaDuLac). 



> I started this a while ago, but then I read FreyaDuLac's "Reveals of Freya" and finally got inspired to finish it lol. I also tried to challenge myself by making it only 1000 words.  
> This is my first work that I'm posting here, so I hope people like it. Please enjoy.

It was a night of celebration in Camelot. Nobles came from far and wide to attend the glamorous festivities, for tonight was the Lover’s Feast: a celebration to honor those whom you loved.

Gwen, Merlin, and all the other servants had been doing their job: serving guests and making sure everything went smoothly. But at some point during the night, Gwen had noticed that Merlin’s shoulders were dropping further and further, and that he was smiling less and less.

She couldn’t think of a reason why.

At some point, Merlin had bolted from the room, despite her hissing his name. She couldn’t follow right then, so she waited for a lull in the feast before she went off to go find him.

Gwen found Merlin sitting on the stairs leading out of the castle, his back to her and staring up at the stars. He was rigid, and gave no indication that he had heard her approach. Gwen watched for a minute, silently, wondering what he was doing. Surely, if he had run off so quickly, there must have been some urgent task that needed doing. She was pondering over this, trying to think of other possibilities, when she heard him sniffle.

He was crying.

“Merlin?” she asked gently.

Merlin jumped, and Gwen saw him wipe his eyes before he turned to face her. He was smiling, but Gwen could easily tell it was forced. “Gwen! Did you need something?”

Gwen didn’t respond. She watched Merlin for a moment, before she came over and sat down next to him. “Merlin, what’s wrong?”

“Wrong?” Merlin responded with a scoff. “Nothing’s wrong. It was just… getting stuffy in there. I needed some air.”

Gwen was unamused. “Merlin.”

It didn’t take Gwen’s expression for Merlin to know she didn’t believe him. His smile faltered and he turned his gaze away, shoulders slumping further forward. “I just… I couldn’t be in there. Not tonight.”

When he didn’t elaborate further, Gwen took a gentle hand and placed it to Merlin’s back. She started rubbing circles in, trying to comfort her friend in whatever way she could. Neither of them spoke for a minute: Gwen not wanting to force what Merlin didn’t want to say, and Merlin not ready to speak.

Merlin broke the silence with a voice so quiet Gwen almost doubted she had heard it. “… her name was Freya.”

Gwen perked up. “Freya?” she asked softly, slightly confused. The name didn’t sound familiar, meaning Merlin had never mentioned her before. But now was not the time to get into Merlin’s secret keeping, so she let it be.

Merlin nodded. He smiled wistfully and began to speak. His voice was filled with such adoration and reverence that Gwen couldn’t help but smile too. “As soon as I saw her, I felt this… connection. I was drawn to her in a way that I’d never experienced with anyone before. The first time we spoke, I gave her a rose.” His smile widened. “It was the first time I’d seen her smile, and even now I remember how it made me feel to see her happy. How if felt to see her smile.

“Her eyes were so dark and so beautiful, and I could get lost in them without even trying. She smelled of wildflowers, and her voice was so enchanting that I could have listened to it for hours on end and never tired.

“I could be myself around her, Gwen. I didn’t need to hide who I was, or pretend to be someone else. I… I _loved_ her, Gwen. And… and she loved me.

“I wanted to marry her,” Merlin murmured. Gwen’s eyes widened slightly in surprise, but she said nothing. “I was ready to give up _everything_ to be with her. To leave Camelot and Arthur. To start a new life, far away in the mountains where she and I could live together and be happy. But…” he trailed off, and Gwen saw glistening tears silently descending down his cheeks. He sniffled once more. “… but she’s gone. And I’ll never see her again.”

Gwen’s eyes saddened. “… what happened?” she asked softly. Merlin hadn’t said, but based on how he was acting and how he spoke about her, she felt she had a fairly good idea.

Merlin gave a half-hearted shrug. “She died-” Gwen was right, and she nodded remorsefully, but then Merlin continued with something that broke her heart even further- “In my arms.”

Gwen inhaled sharply and her eyes widened. Her hand stopped where it was on Merlin’s back. “Oh, Merlin. I-I’m so sorry.”

Merlin shook his head softly. “It’s alright, Gwen. You didn’t know.” He let out a shaky breath. “I still think of her. A lot. I see her in everything: the flowers, the falling of the leaves, the stars-” he glanced up for a moment, but then lowered his head back down. He continued, voice quieter, “… in every couple walking down the street.”

“… Is that why you left the feast?”

Merlin nodded. “I just… I couldn’t be in there. I couldn’t watch all those couples and not think about what I had with Freya. About what we might have had if we only had more time…”

They then sat in silence for a few minutes, the ambient noises of night broken only by Merlin’s occasional shaky breath.

After a minute, Gwen asked gently, “You ready to come back in? I don’t think you want Arthur figuring out you missed half the feast.”

That drew a small smile from Merlin. He responded, “I’ll… I’ll go in in a minute.”

Gwen nodded and stood, before entering the castle and returning to the festivities herself.

Merlin returned to the feast minutes later, and immediately was swept up once more in serving Arthur and the other nobles. Any indication that something was wrong nonexistent.

Gwen eventually caught his eye, and a faint, sad smile came over Merlin’s face. He nodded to her once, everything he needed to say in that one expression.

_Thank you._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading
> 
> Title from Damh the Bard's song "Down in the Garden."  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-UsmUVKvXU


End file.
